Now I've had questions about the mom from my most recent post.
I met my friend who I'll call Busca for the purpose of saving her identity to most, a couple of years ago. We have nothing in common except our faith in Christ. Nothing may not describe it. Zip, Nada, nothing, zero to say the least! But for some reason, almost from the day we met, we cracked each other up in that sarcastic, nobody would understand this but us kinda way. So much so that a one point we were taking a class together at church, and the teacher, a mentor and friend of mine for over 20 years, had to threaten to separate us like school girls. Even at that, we just laughed! Going back to our differences, she is small and strong. I am large and weak. She is tomboyish, athletic, likes to fish, knows more than anybody needs to about guns. I am a girly girl who can't catch a ball, or a fish and was not even allowed to hold a toy gun in her house because of the way I apparently waved it around in an inappropriate fashion. . who knew?
Our friendship was difficult because we hardly ever knew what the other one meant and were in general just never on the same page so to speak. But both of us understood that God must have crossed our paths for a reason. I didn't notice at the time but as I write this now, looking back, I became more of a personal assistant than a friend to Busca. Took her daughter to church when she couldn't be there, booked flights for her, processed bill payments on-line for her, did laundry, cleaned house, cleaned the litter box, even cleaned junk mail out of her yahoo account because she said it was too much for her to deal with, picked up from school and stayed with her daughter. Sometimes Busca could and would drop her daughter off at a friend or relatives house while she worked at night. As time went by it became increasing apparent that my young friend wanted to stay at home, in her house, in her room, and in her bed. So, I offered to stay more often so she could stay in her own home while her mom had to work. What else did I have to do? Busca was right, when she told me, most of what I did for her & her daughter was because I offered / not because she asked. It was a way for me to help someone and even now, it is the same, I enjoyed helping and do not regret it.
Again not trying to be one sided, she helped me - the day I totalled my car - she came to my aid, she traveled 300 miles to attend the visitation for my dad's funeral, and she drove me to the hospital for day surgery. Even in the midst of what seemed like constant negative banter, she could make me laugh more than just about anyone I know. In a world where I live alone and 300 miles from family, Busca was family like to me. It was like having a younger sister and niece near by that actually needed me.
About six months ago, Busca had a college age friend move into the house to help her with her daughter. Therefore, she does not need the help I'd offered all along. Did not need , did not want it, and did not want to talk about it. (try as I did which only drove her more nuts - yikes!) So about three months later, she told me God had released her from the need to be my friend. As far as friends go, I am pretty loyal and I think God has His own way of distancing people when that needs to happen. But I've learned to respect her comment.
I have said this to her and I will not change. (Because I believe with all my heart, God expects nothing less.) I pray for her, I believe God's best for and about her. I wish her well. She is a strong believer, she is good at her job, and she is a great mother.
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